This month has been pretty rough for me, lots of drama. Lots of miscommunication, bad luck, thievery. I can’t begin to explain. Its a lot of bull shit. Stuff that shouldn’t have happened. If I had been smarter and listened to my best friend long ago, my life wouldn’t have been all confucked this month. I would’ve been okay. I would be OKAY.
I am not okay. I feel alone, somewhat trapped, longing for more, needing my best friend at my side.
I need her now more than ever, and I cannot have her in the same state anymore.
I have a past, that needs some exposure. So I may move on with my life. I’d like to be able to share the good as well as the bad. My view on life, is beautiful. I absolutely love life, I love music, I love dancing. I cannot get enough of it. But there is a piece of me that stays dark, deep inside, slowly surfacing. When I get upset, which isn’t easy, I can’t shut it off. I am forced to relive all the memories, all the terrible experiences I had because I chose to be that person. For some reason I chose that life, and it haunts me now.
I am not a bitch, or a liar, or a skank. I’m just a girl, growing into the mature woman that I will become.
I need to let go of my past, and I believe this will be the only way for me. Whether no one ever reads it, or dozens. I want to share my experience. I want to let others know life is worth living, even after terrible experiences in life. You can live on. There is light after darkness.