Coupling up

I have quite a few friends that are engaged, married, or have babies. Or so it seems these days.

My parents were the first people I knew that had a shared bank account. Made my moms life easier, and my dads job harder. I know its a sign that the couple trusts each other with each others hard earned or not so hard earned cash. But it doesn’t seem all that necessary, I have only been put through shit with the men I’ve been around in the past. Living with an ex that stole from the rent money you’ve put away. Thats hard to forget. Though I am very aware that’s not whats gonna happen for me and Aaron.

We have no reason to discuss shared bank accounts, we are both doing fine and I can buy him whatever and vice versa whenever we need to. We’re okay.

But other couples, some still don’t want that, some may never want that. I haven’t really given it too much thought. I’d like to now.

I have a shopping addiction. I would like to keep the accounts separate as long as possible til I can’t shop. Its been nice having a debit card that can’t make any online purchases. It comes in handy when I need to stop shopping or buying anything at all. But none the less, I still have a bad habit of buying things because I feel like it. When I have a child and I’ve decided my child will always come first. I believe it’ll stop all together. Or make it worse.

If a shared account would make my life easier, and his as well. That’s what I’d do. But if it seemed I can’t stop myself or worse that I’d get on him about his expenses.

I don’t want to be the nagging wife. I want to be the understanding wife. I want a man that I understand the way he thinks, why he does the things he does. I want to just know, understand, and be there to help when help is needed.

Some men need financial help or assistance. My mom did all the bills and paid off all the credit cards. I believe my dad might have done better without.

But, if I happen to be better at handling the bills, that paying them on time is acceptable, I may be the one for budgeting, or as an equal. I haven’t had to give it much thought.

You know what I have given quite a bit of thought. Names. Our name doesn’t really say too much about us, and thats okay. I’m grateful for that. I do still want an amazing name for my own kin. I took an ECE class my senior year in High School. I chose a baby girl, and I waited for the last weekend so I could have her. I did not want the black boy, Why? Because I’m white and wanted a white baby because I was in fact racist then. I named her Anashayne Samantha Parker. Long ass name for my child. Also. Parker was just my favorite last name at the time since I hadn’t yet reconnected with my best friend from early childhood. My child wasn’t going to have my last name. And never will.

Around the time I chose my name for my girl. I also thought of boys names in case I ended up with another baby. I should have other names. I thought up a list of my favorite boys names. They were the names of the guys I thought were cutest over the years. Ian will always be a hot guy name. I may name my child Ian so it sets him up for an easy life. But I’m going to think of other names more suitable for the boy I’d be bringing into this world. A name that says something about the both of us.

Until my ECE classes, I knew I was going to be a mother, and I knew I didn’t want to wait long until I allowed it to happen. But I assumed I was going to wait until I saw my childs face to decide what their name would be. Let their face make up who they are going to be. As much as I would love to have my own little ball of Joy (pun intended). I wonder if waiting til they show there face, will give them a chance at a better name. I was born Rachel Nicole. And until this year I always wanted to be Nicole, and not Rachel.

I like my name now. But I still wonder if I should think less about it, and let the name come to mind when I see her, or him. 😛

Lisa believes I’ll have a girl first, I’m pretty positive of it too. I always dreamed of having a boy, then a girl. That I want a big brother figure in my family. NOT a big sister. I’ve never thought about how many kids I’ll have, that’s something I’ll decide with my husband. Its a shared opinion. It is not just me. I do not make all the money, I do not own the house, I will never make all the decisions.

I was raised very old fashioned. I have always wanted a man willing to open my door. I walk too fast, I’m gonna open my own for the most part, but I love a man that wants to do it. The only bit that is the complete opposite. I can’t cook. I can only make a handful of dishes, but I’d love to learn.

I’ve been watching Bewitched at work a lot, lately. I want to be like Samantha. I want to clean all day, then have a beautiful little dinner on the table awaiting his arrival. I want to do the dishes (alongside a dishwasher of course), I want to run all the errands, and do all the laundry. I want to be a super mom. That’s been my goal for about a decade now. Isn’t that amazing. But. Dreams change. If I have found the man of my dreams.

Which is another thing. Oh, boy. My dream guy. Though ironically my own reliability has been awful. Its my phone’s fault. I promise. I’m not usually this awful.

Reliable. Dependable. A gentleman. Loves music. And digs the Beatles in specific. Someone to cuddle with when its cold outside. Someone capable of waking me gently when I’m in the deepest of sleeps. Someone that wants a 50s housewife. I want a man that can cook and is willing to use every spice known to man. I will try any concoction. I want a man that appreciates my dancing, my style of dance. I want someone that likes traveling, or long random drives. I want someone that will allow me to drive. Someone that wants to care for me when I carry our children and still wants to care for me after. I need a man to love me, for who I am. And not for who I once was.


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