Dirty Cheat

I despise the idea of cheating. I have never cheated, and I have never wanted to cheat. I am surely above it, and will never cheat on someone or do anything with a taken person. Its dirty and immoral.

Cheating. You can look at it in many ways. But my definition is that if there is something you can’t tell your better half, its considered cheating. Any gross feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is wrong. And you should be aware of that line. Decide before if you want more than one person in your life. Or don’t say you’re wanting to be exclusive.

I’m happy to say, I’ve never been cheated on. I don’t know what it feels like to have someone confess that they’ve gone against their word and betrayed me. I have not lived through the pain of a stomped on heart. I’m happy I’ve found generally trustworthy people. Or maybe its just that I had a thing for virgins that couldn’t cheat on me. I don’t know, I hope to never have to find out.

I don’t feel any worry in my new relationship with Aaron. I haven’t yet asked his opinion on the subject. But I’m sure it’ll come up eventually. I just have no need to bring it up right now.

Its someone else that reminded me. “Mostly kidding” Gross.

I’ve given it a lot of thought over the years. I still stand by my same answer. If you want to see other people, if you think cheating is okay. There is either something very wrong with you, or you never cared for that person. Or you’re a cold hearted bitch.

Its like stealing. We all know its wrong, but cheating effects others. The lover of yours gets the worst of it, and they are innocent. Why do you want to punish someone loyal to you. So you can have fun with a random. It just doesn’t make any sense. I have NEVER wanted to do anything with anyone while I was under any influence of drugs or alcohol. And I’ve had plenty of chances.

I’ve had men throw themselves at me, quite literally, and I have managed to fend off every attempt. Not a single bit. Ever.

Yet I was accused of cheating because I have a past with men. I was never taken in HS. Thats why I permitted it all, its why I wanted to see them. Not that I ever felt good about it. I still wasn’t cheating. Still have never cheated.

If I ever felt like I wanted to see someone else, or do something with someone else. Well, thats when I would decide my relationship wasn’t what I wanted. I still waited until a break up to see someone else.

I have a good example, as well as a sort of bad one. Its as close to cheating as I ever got.

I had broken up with beau at one point, just a tiff, but we split. For awhile. A single week after we broke up I started seeing a new guy. We never did anything me and the new guy. We just liked each other and wanted to get to know each other. He asked me to be his girlfriend. And I accepted. Then beau decided he wanted to be friends. And we were okay as friends. Never did anything. Just great friends. A couple weeks went by and he decided he wanted me back. And I felt more towards him than I did the new guy. In fact, dating him for that short period made me realize I hated most of his personality, he was too much of a bro I guess. Did a strange lip thing when he would talk to me. Always made it awkward.

Anyways. I had to wait until we were broken up before ever doing anything with beau again. So we did. My relationship was so brief with the new guy it was okay. Just a quick stop by his place and I’d go home to the asshole.

We waited. Yada yada.

It was the closest I had gotten to cheating. And I felt bad about it all. But I still didn’t cheat on him even if it was a new relationship. I know its wrong. And I never ever want to do it, or have it happen. I NEED someone who has those values. Its beautiful, monogamy. I’m going to make sure that is known by my children. You can be sure of that.

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