Bewtween a Rock and a Hard Place

I was not kicked out of my parents home, because I paid for my own things, and took on debt and the emotional stress of a constant reminder of such debt. Through a year of struggles, wanting to die, major debt to my parents, and a flip flop sociopath in and out of my life. I made it through it, and I lucked out with an amazing job, and got the fuck out.

I moved out on my own, only somewhat aware of what it really took to live on your own, to support yourself, as well as my cats. I make quite a lot and the month of my surgery happened to be February which meant I would be getting paid much less than before. While paying off my debts to my parents as well as Ana’s mom for the deposit to what was previously her apartment. So, while I paid off at least $1,000 of debt and paying rent for the past several months. I did it, February I was my most broke, and lost the most weight and my cats got smaller due to excess food at my parents and much less now that they were being fed by me. Little piglets.

I know what it feels like to struggle, and I understand that because I happen to have the perfect job to remain stable and handle all my bills, food, etc, that I was blessed enough to not truly have struggled. But, Ana did better. She made less, probably half, at the same apartment, with a cat, with bills and food and paying off her own debt but in a much slower manner. She can do it, so can anyone else.


I’ve taken in my friend, who is maturing and growing. And the original agreement was that she pay less than 1/5th the rent. And she pay for all of her own things.

My circumstances have changed, and the bills have gone up, so I had to rethink paying almost all of the rent when I’m never there or using anything when I do visit. Permitting her to use all of my things that I’m sure are handy to have around and expensive if she had to buy them all herself.


Making her pay almost 2/5ths the rent is too much? And that I ask that she get her own Pg&E and SMUD account, because its currently under Ana’s and she doesn’t appreciate another human living under her name.

So I’m paying off my bills and she’s closing the account and cutting it off once I give her go ahead. Probably at the end of the month.

Which gives my ‘roomie’ time to make her decision.

Downside is. High School Mentality hit me up first. And it wasn’t even her. The lovely boo decided he wanted to man up and take care of his woman. Whom didn’t need her help. Of all people, she can stand on her own 2 feet and tell me if she’s upset about anything.

I’ve heard nothing.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, unsure of what I should do. I knew I didn’t like those she keeps around, I don’t need the drama. I wanted a conversation. An adult conversation since plans have changed, goals have changed, and a new life change may be coming. A new adjustment might need to be made, and 2/5ths won’t cut it, I’ll need to leave and get my deposit. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens in Portland.


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