So tell me, am I the bad friend?

I’ve really gotta listen to Ana when she tells me someone is no good. I’ve trusted her judgment with very little, but she’s often right. She reads the fake people better than I do. I see that they are bubbly and sweet and we have lots in common, but she can see that they’ll one day turn, one day walk all over me and I won’t even see it coming.

She see’s people for what they are. The downside being she see’s everyones flaws, even those that are worth keeping. She’s just picky and can’t handle anyone’s bullshit. Its better to keep only a few super close. That’s why she’s got me and a handful of others.

I let my donut princess move in to my little studio. I hadn’t fully thought about the consequences, but I should’ve thought about it more. I’ve lived with friends before, and its an even more complicated situation we were in.

I’ve made life pretty simple, actually. She only had to pay 100 the first month and pay for her own food.

My apartment was stocked with pots, pans, towels, dish soap, laundry soap, dryer sheets, quarters for the free laundry machines(broken quarter machines, beautiful), dishes, the last of my food, and all the little things an apartment needs that I’ve collected over the years and while actually out on my own. I have all the basics with a few awesome extras.

I permitted her to do as she pleased, but that no one comes over besides the boyfriend. That rule was broken the first week, and she said yes to them coming over IN FRONT OF ME before asking my opinion.

She borrowed cash from my saved rent the first week, which I permitted, but I wanted her to ask before taking it, not just tell me she planned on replacing it…… That was $60. So, it wasn’t crucial, but it still erked me.

I left her be, I took my work stuff so I didn’t have to come into my apartment in the morning to get ready and find her bf in the bed too. Its a studio.. I already had to get dressed in the kitchen, now I have to try and do it in the 4ft by 2ft bathroom? So, I was thankful when I needed to change my morning routine and get ready at my guys.

My rent is $550. I paid the $550 deposit(eventually) and I kept up on the bill that was in Ana’s name. But, she assumed I’d have gotten my own account for the gas and electric bill by now… So when I told her Ash was moving in, she told me, she was closing her account then.

I’d like to first re explain a few months to you.

I moved out in January, December 31st to be exact. I had paid the first months rent and had Ana’s deposit transferred over since it was her apartment I was moving into. So, her debt of 550 to her mom was transferred to me.

I spent the next 3 months paying it off. February being my MOST BROKE MONTH because I had a fucking ear surgery and spent several days out of work. But hey, I can hear now! And I finally bought scissors. 🙂

Well, that puts me at March, when I met Aaron. So, I had about a week without paying off any debt before I wasn’t using my apartment for much. I was only there to see my little ones, feed em, smoke a bowl with em, and then get picked up by Aaron to go to his place for the night. Then I’d be back the next morning to feed em, and get ready for work. Then I’m gone for 9 hours, and I come back for the same small cycle.

I should’ve saved and gotten my own account. I know. So that part is my fault.

But, I was being quite kind with everything else. And I didn’t randomly stop by, didn’t move her stuff around, and only ASKED THAT MY CAT TREE BE PLACED ON THE GROUND, and that my picture frames be laid nicely (without stuff on them) or stand up against something.

My picture frame of a picture I drew of my father at the age of THREE, broke. Because she placed it next to the cat tree that was on my tv stand. Not to mention the fire hazard she created by moving her entire bedroom into my little studio still filled with what I could fit from my own previous bedroom.

Basically. She wants me to feel like I’ve screwed her over. I mean SCREWED her, but I don’t feel that way. Since I paid 450 the first month and 350 for her to stay til the end of June. She never paid any deposit. I didn’t ask for money for her bills since I wasn’t quite caught up until recently, I didn’t know what she’d have added, it was apparently a lot, but I paid it because that was in fact the agreement, and I didn’t want her to have any part in a bill that was in Ana’s name. Even her own. But.

I gave her a month to get an account, so why am I surprised the power turned off and now she is bitching?

I told her all that she needed to do. Google the numbers, make a quick call and create your account. It’ll get turned on same day and she can create a payment plan( I was not aware of this while still paying off debts to others)

I recently asked Ana and Aaron, what it would take to make an account. Since previously I didn’t want to think about it.

Its the complicated situation that’s screwed us up, and has managed to make me lose out on yet another friend, even though I just bought her the umbrella of her dreams. A huge sunflower with the cool brown wooden cane handle. Its gorgeous, and I can’t wait to get my rose one for the Fall/Winter rain.

Back on topic.

Am I really in the wrong? Am I really a bad friend?

If you calculate the money I’ve spent, what I’ve given her. I cannot come off that way. So why does she think I’m trying to make her life more difficult.

SHE WAS KICKED OUT OF HER HOME, for disobeying her batshit mom. Sure, the woman was crazy but as I got older I started to understand what she was doing. Princess was raised to be responsible of her actions, of her room, her cat, and the family car. She was given all that she asked for, and asked that she do chores in return.

She often got in trouble for not doing them, and getting away with everything. Stealing, lying, ditching, sneaking out, smoking, taking the car without permission, lying for the car..

I know teens are rebellious, but does that ever end? Will she ever grow up and see that she can’t have EVERYTHING she wants, and especially not how she wants it?

Life is not fair. You learn who your friends are in the hardest of times. Well, after offering to help her out entirely with the exception of less than 1/5th my rent. Then when MY circumstances changed and I raised her rent to 2/5th the rent, I’m walking all over her?

Her 2 months rent is the combined amount of ONE months economy room rent. And that wouldn’t include a deposit, bills, expenses (such as: food, dishes, laundry stuff, vacuum, broom or dust pan. You know, necessities?)

I’ve been planning my departure from my parents nest for years. I’ve had dishes, a vacuum, a coffee table, a bed frame, and a cheese slicer for quite some time.

Random items I know, but I’ve been thinking about it. I asked for a vacuum for Christmas a few years back. Since we needed one at the time and couldn’t afford it, and I knew I’d need one eventually. Well. They got to use it for a year, then I moved out with it.

I’ve been preparing for adulthood all my life, mentally trying to grow up, physically doing what I could to remain appealing to future employers (healthy weight, decent hair, no crazy tatts or piercings.) I’ve watched my dad, gone on many grocery shopping trips, and I know how to shop, know what the good prices and good off brands are. I know what to get, I’ve been paying attention. Also, I’ve budgeted over a thousand times to get myself in a groove of understanding how to budget my money. Still kinda terrible but getting better every month.

Well, what makes her so special? Why does she get to call me out and demand I do more for her when I’ve already done so much. I gave up my apartment entirely. And I’ve since removed my little one. 🙂

I’m grateful she kept Chase’s food dish full and sometimes refilled her water. I hadn’t asked anything more, so the box got ugly, and I’m so happy I’ll be able to clean it on a daily basis again.

Working 40 hours and attempting a social life, as well as cleaning, organizing, adjusting, running endless errands and being the new girl in Mr. Wynn’s life. Its exhausting. I’d have to give up marijuana if I wanted to take care of Princess, too.

So, if you’ve actually stuck through this with me, may I ask… Am I the bad friend, or have I been trying to be too nice?

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One thought on “So tell me, am I the bad friend?

  1. I think you already know the right answer to your question. Now you need to protect yourself from further damage. Get ALL your stuff out now! Break ties cleanly and make sure the apartment manager knows you have moved out. This girl is working with a sense of entitlement that you have been enabling. She may not be fully aware of what she is doing, but that does not excuse the behavior. Get out now before the issues get bigger.

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