A Big Fuck You From Mother Nature, Men Beware.

I’m understanding to a certain point, I know that being a woman has a lot of downsides, but in the end its all worth it because we get to carry the next generation. This is ridiculous, though.

Since choosing the all natural route, I’m back to my 14 year old self, I can remember why I got on the pill, very clearly. Before the pill, I was one of those girls that frequently fucked up and bled too much on the one pad or tampon. I destroyed a lot of my clothing while trying to figure myself out..

This is my 2nd cycle on the Paragard, the first cycle was longer than appreciated, a whopping 6 days, heavy flow and the mightiest of cramps. FUCK.

This time I’m on day 4, and its slightly heavier? Shit. OH SHIT.

This entire weekend I was drunk, I mean, I was continuously drinking the whole time. Constantly tipsy til I was fucked up by nighttime. My cramps get SO painful the only medicine that works is getting drunk, I’m grateful to be a liteweight currently, but won’t be for much longer if I have to keep this up, not that I mind being drunk for a few days once a month. Maybe I’ll only drink those days so my tolerance stays low, drinking stays cheap, and I have a miracle cure. 😛

But really.

This sucks.


The reason for this post. Yesterday, I was cleaning at my apartment for just over an hour, then went home to eat our food, I came home to find I had destroyed my pink workout shorts. Today….. I stood up to walk to the bathroom like usual, but I could feel it, I could feel really cold everywhere down there. FUCK ME, you have GOT to be kidding me.

Nope. I’ve managed to fuck up today…. I’m thankful my work pants are black, minus my pin stripes that are hopefully not too noticeable… I need to go home. This is stupid bad. I need to be DRUNK at home, avoiding my pain, avoiding the embarrassment, just take away my blood when I’m not at home.


The first time rafting in 2 years, I saw my string for the first swim experience, in front of hundreds of people, I saw my string hang between my legs. WHAT EMBARRASSMENT!


I wish there was a way we could read our bodies better, at 21 I don’t know what its gonna do because I’ve changed it a few too many times to know at this point. I need to find out, I need to know to change sooner, I need to be able to change sooner.

And what are the rules to rafting on your period? Because clearly, I did it wrong. String, drips of blood, waiting to change the fucking tampon.

WHY DOES WATER LIKE TO TRICK US! I hate this, in water you’re ok and out of water you have about 30 seconds to get your shit together. No. Give me like 20 minutes after I get out of water, that’d be nice, right?


I’m sorry for the super nasty girly ass rant, but fuck. We hate having to deal with this, and it would be awesome to just a get a fucking call or text, hey you’re not pregnant. Fuck the blood.


It also SUCKS for me, personally, my sex drive is through the ROOF when I’m on my period, and I like to drink to help my pain, so its surely doubled. I need some action. All. The. Time.


5 thoughts on “A Big Fuck You From Mother Nature, Men Beware.

  1. Just a quick note from Momma: alcohol thins your blood and increases your flow. A nice glass of red wine will relax you and help with the cramps, but guzzling away will only increase your frustration.
    On another note, I find it easier to just restrain from water during that week.
    Love ya! Hang in there – you are not the only woman to have these issues.

    • Fully aware, I’ve been reading more posts of women openly discussing the icky issues we actually deal with. Its just not a topic we’re open about in public, I don’t even discuss it with Ana much, its awkward for everyone. Its nice being able to be open on here, and hopefully get feedback that helps.
      I drink because it helps my pain, I can’t handle the pain of cramps anymore. I live on ibuprofen at work and frequently catch myself wincing in pain or finding myself breathing funny waiting for the contraction to pass. It sucks now that everything is natural and stronger. Alcohol is the only way I seem to get through it and want to be around people without snapping someones head off(mostly Aaron)

      • Totally NOT awkward for me. Ask me / tell me anything.
        PS: did you know that acetomenophen (Tylenol) helps to decrease your flow? I learned that trick from my doctor during a few troublingly heavy months. It comes in prescription form under the name Ponstil. Ask your doctor.

      • I will. Dang. Why didn’t my doc tell me that when I was 14. UNCOOL.
        I will ask you anything, now. I’ve been told this for years now that I could go to you for anything, I should’ve listened to Ana. I find myself saying that, a lot. Raised your girl right.

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